Chihuahua Karma by Rice Debby

Author:Rice, Debby [Rice, Debby]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: ghost chihuahua, funny, funny animal, humor, chicago, Reincarnation, romance and paranormal, animal adventure, fantasy dogs, Paranormal, fantasy chihuahua, Romance, Fantasy, Suspense, Adventure, holiday, chihuahuas, Dogs, urban fantasy
Published: 2011-12-16T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

“I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.”

Mark Twain

For once, I was not the one who was trembling. Charmaine’s knees were shaking so hard that I would have fallen off her lap, except she was holding me in place. Her hands were icy and just as palsied as her legs. Although I was the celebrity of the evening, I was calm.

I was having a fabulous time attending my first blacktie event as a dog. It was all about me. We were surrounded by Sugar frolicking on programs, goodie bags, menus, napkins and all of the other swag produced to entice the fat cats to trim their wallets.

Charmaine, in her relentless effort to complete the transformation from shopgirl to socialite, had sought the advice of an image consultant. While I had a play date with a Lhasa apso—an afternoon filled with sniffing and scratching that I would prefer to forget—Charmaine discussed how someone who is shacked up with an “exterminator” goes about hoisting herself up the social ladder. The consultant had droned on for hours about the challenges of getting Charmaine “placed” at Chihuahua Rescue. In the end, Charmaine didn’t need her help. Her own obsessive enthusiasm, plus Larry’s $100,000 contribution, got her named chair of the Gala Teacup Ball.

“Oh, Suggie, I don’t know if I can do this,” she said, picking me up and smashing me to her chest. “I think I overpracticed. But it has to be perfect.” Her welcome speech was five minutes long, and I had spent 500 minutes listening to her practice it.

Alone in the cavernous ballroom, we were bathed in the sugary reflection of pink linen. Before us, empty tables stretched like row after row of candy lozenges, each topped with swirls of fuchsia roses. Larry, our benefactor, was busy elsewhere. After he wrote the check, he felt no further need to be involved. Lucille had begged to come but was told children were not allowed. She was left to watch Jewel of a Thousand Facets while Zoya prayed and painted her nails blue.

Charmaine had arrived early to test the microphone. Her sheaf of dog-eared note cards, including detailed instructions for hand gestures, was spread before her like a tarot deck. She was studying them as if the mystery to a season of A-list invitations might soon be revealed.

“Oh, finally, there’s Anthony.” Charmaine looked up at the stage. She waved frantically at a man who had just appeared from the wings. “Anthony, Anthony. Don’t go away. I’ll be right there.”

“Take your time, Ms. Ratzinger,” he called back.

“Okay, Suggie. Don’t be nervous. It’s just our test run.”

We mounted the steps to the stage. Charmaine, who was wearing a spiky pair of Jimmy Choo strappy sandals, tripped on the top stair. We teetered for a moment, but she regained her footing. She seemed to have issues with her balance and was constantly stumbling.

“Careful there. Be sure to hold onto the railing when you come onstage,” said Anthony.

“We need to practice that again,” Charmaine said, descending the stairs.

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